~warhol-redux

Mood: hmmm...
Listening to: Taking a Ride With my Best Friend by Depeche Mode
Reading: Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam, Raja Gidh etc.

Hmmm... two night back I happened to be on this dA account of mine quite accidentally (lately those seem to happen a lot). Said account had a subscription, which I first took for granted, thinking it was one of those free subscriptions. Later on, realizing that the expiry date for my subscription was 31st August, 2005, which is many many days more than the 7 day subscriptions dA is giving away. Nowadays, my mind doesn't work really very well. It's like an old spring that has come unwinded. By the time, I had figured this much, I'd already set up my friends to be shown on the front page, to show who had visited me, blah blah.

But later on when I went into another one of my sleepless vigils at night, I realized that this was no kindness on the part of server's mistake at dA. Maybe there's really been a mistake. How come that mistake is benefiting me, I don't know. I would take it just as a subscription that's not rightfully mine (it came by mistake and now I think someone should know, only I don't know whom) and something should be done about it.

Then again, I'm thinking, could this actually be someone's kindness and not the mistake of a machine? Is there some friend that I don't know about? Because if you're out there and reading this, I want you to know how kind your gesture is and how thankful I am for this and how much it means to me. I'm not too good with words for all I might seem to be but thank you is all I can muster right now. I'm not replying to any messages right now on any of my accounts, not checking deviations but I want to/needed to thank you. Now I want to know whom you are, mysterious friend and benefactor-in-such-a-strange-way. I have also been wondering whether my art is so good that it merits such a present? I don't think so. It's not that good. Did someone want to encourage me? Then this is the debt of encouragement, which might only be paid through the making of good art and I will try my best to do that.

Well, here goes another night of sleep, mulling over another endless string of questions that are unanswered. Whomever you are, may God bless you.

Thank you.